9 am and I am already on a "fuck today" road

I am seriously tired of being treated like the bad guy. I was the bad guy in my home environment because I was born a female. I was the bad guy in my first marriage because I was a 15yr old who wouldn't let an 18 yr old rape her. I was the bad guy in my second marriage because that's who the abuser needed me to be so he could be the favored person with our friends and kids. I am the bad guy now that I have left. I am the bad guy for calling the cops and cps on child abuse, inappropriate behavior, and dangerous mental health issues. I am the bad guy for wanting to do the right thing, trying my best to use the golden rule, trying to succeed.. etc. I am the bad guy for trying to make positive changes.